Does a female yoga teacher have to be nice?

Does a female yoga teacher actually have to be nice?

This question might sound a little provocative at first. But I’ve been thinking about the stereotypes around what it means to be a woman in our society for quite some time. Especially in the yoga and spiritual world, we often encounter a very specific image of femininity:

Be soft and gentle. Be receptive. Be compassionate. Be harmonious.

And fundamentally, there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these qualities.

I love gentleness. I love compassion. And I deeply believe in the power of connection. But it becomes problematic when softness turns into compliance.

When we confuse harmony with avoiding conflict. When we believe that being spiritual means always being understanding. Or when a clear NO is suddenly perceived as “unfeminine.” I think many women know this feeling.

We learn early on to read the room. To be considerate. To please others. Not to be too loud. Not too uncomfortable. Not too demanding.

And sometimes we take those exact patterns onto the yoga mat — and call them spirituality.

But people pleasing is not spirituality.

That sentence has been on my mind a lot lately. Because to me, yoga doesn’t mean always being peaceful and pleasant. Yoga also means having the courage to look honestly. To recognize our boundaries. To find our own voice.

And to have the courage to use it — and to name the inconvenient truth.

Even when someone else might not want to hear it.

Which brings me to a question I really want to explore in my Instagram Live this Wednesday:

What does it actually mean to be a woman today?

Does femininity always have to be soft?

Can I be compassionate and still set clear boundaries?

Can I be spiritual and still be angry?

Can I be feminine and still be loud, direct, ambitious, or uncomfortable?

And why are strong women — even in the yoga world — so quickly perceived as “too much”?

I don’t have simple answers to these questions. But I believe these are exactly the conversations we need to be having.

And that’s why I’ve invited a woman to join me who I really want to explore all of this with — my dear friend and colleague, Nina Heitmann.

Nina and I bring different stories, personalities, and experiences to the table — and that’s exactly why I’m so looking forward to this conversation.